Shame RX: Guilt trips are not true shame.


You should not have done that! I would not have! You could have done . . .

Do you have any woulda, shoulda, coulda peeps in your life? You know those people who feel the need to remind you of what you could or should have done better? Of course they would have done better, you know? 

Or maybe the woulda, shoulda, coulda lives inside of your own brain. A guilt complex you have carried around for years, formed from other’s expectations or your own.

**News flash** Guilt trips are not true shame. They are performance-based expectations from fallen man. The truth is that none of us coulda or shoulda or woulda ever been able to measure up to Christ’s righteousness. That is why we need a Savior.

This does not mean we swing the pendulum to the opposite extreme of apathy, but it does mean we should examine the guilt instead of feeling judged by it. Remember how to do that?

Truth – Is this guilt Scriptural, or emotional?

Grace – If there is merit to the guilt, can I process it with truth and accept the grace of God and let it go? Done.

Humility – Whether we have legitimate guilt to own up to or not, guilt is not a life sentence. At least it does not have to be. When we humbly admit our weaknesses (boast about them even), we are set free to remove expectations from us and place them on Christ Who alone is our righteousness.


Need to get rid of shame in your life? Join the Shame Off You Bible Study Mondays at 7pm ET.

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  • Free Bible Study Companion Guide (print and pop in a binder, or use it as a digital guide)
  • Shame Off You Scripture Resource Guide
  • Shame Off You Journal
  • Three chapters download (so you can get started reading)
  • Free single song from my website (You Pick)

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