There is hidden suffering today in hospitals where victims of COVID lie in isolation and caretakers have to face fear to provide care. While there is no fault to blame, there are lessons to learn and the mind of Christ sets us free in the midst.
Today I am thinking about what victory looks like. Yesterday it looked like a turnaround for my health, praise God.
The Big Buts
𝐁𝐮𝐭 I also did not share some of the hard places of yesterday where victory was chosen.
Today two of my daughters are singing at Liberty University. I cannot be there.
𝐁𝐮𝐭 I am grateful I am here, fighting. Surviving.
Today my husband drove by to see if there was a way he could see my hospital room while he sat in the hospital parking lot, hoping he could catch a glimpse of me. He could not bring an anniversary card to me two days ago or smuggle a Bible in because of germs.
𝐁𝐮𝐭 he could take a picture of his precious card and have me translate his French (which I know he used Google translate for, just sayin’). We could read it together and cry together, between asthmatic gasps of air.
Asthma and COVID make it hard for me to talk.
𝐁𝐮𝐭 my husband read through several Scriptures over the phone with me and we agreed together.
My husband’s mom is in her final days on this earth and COVID prevents him from seeing her or me.
𝐁𝐮𝐭 I was able to call her on the phone and weep with Clay’s parents and thank them for accepting me into their family.
The Presence of God is the Difference
Oh this COVID is hard, y’all. I am learning so much here, though, precious truths that I do not want to be wasted.
It is the presence of Jesus that truly makes the difference and your messages, Scriptures, songs, and prayers have all made a difference, truly. I want to respond to each one.
𝐉𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬
I really wanted to take a shower so badly today. My hair is greasy, y’all, and it has been since Sunday when I just was released from the hospital and took a shower right before my temperature dropped and we had to come back. I am thankful for that shower.
I prepped the nurses last night, asking when it would be a convenient time for them for me to get a shower today, trying to be considerate of them. And I agreed to shoot for 6:30 am, before breakfast.
Then I called at 6:30 am reminding them of the shower and asked for a cup of water.
Next, I called at 7:30 am – no response from before.
Nothing at 8:30 am . . . you get the point. So I just grabbed a swig of warm water from the sink and waited.
Finally at 11:30 am I decided to pace and march around my room to see if my heart monitor might help to produce a visit. (Desperation is the mother of invention, y’all).
At 11:30 my nurse says she is coming in. I could not have a shower because of the heart monitor and oxygen.
I know it is just a luxury. First world probs. But oh how much I craved that warm water.
𝐁𝐮𝐭 they say they can let me do a sponge bath which is basically, here is a dry foam – wet it with water and see if you can get clean.
The Struggle is Real—Stay in the Fight!
I did it, y’all. I held a heart monitor in one hand, switched out of one robe (which I forgot to tell you I did this already a few days ago when I was tired of wearing a robe with blood on it from when the CT scan guy accidentally blew my IV over my head), and I sponge bathed.
But this greasy hair, y’all. It won’t do. So I dunked my head in the sink and washed my hair – tubes and IV kept safe and dangling while I washed with my right hand.
This is my victory picture, y’all. I took out the oxygen tube for a little less dramatic picture.
𝐉𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠
When I could not get to sleep last night because the IV that the C/T scan guy busted earlier in the day was leaking meds everywhere for the nighttime meds and they had to bring in someone else to do it, I did not whimper. I did not give in to the discomfort.
And as my arm was over my head and the tech complained, or when the pain in my arm was throbbing, I thought of Christ on the cross. He chose that suffering. And this suffering is nothing. They are trying to take care of me. And when the guy came to draw bloodwork and I felt like a voodoo doll as he kept guessing where blood might be, I prayed for him and asked God for patience.
What did Christ do in times of suffering? And what can we learn about the mind of Christ when life simply hurts and we don’t know when our misery will end?
These are the things I was thinking about today.
𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐜𝐤 #𝟏: 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬.
“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” —Hebrews 12:2
Christ knew His mission. He kept his focus, resolute on winning our souls back after the fall. Nothing would stop Him. Sometimes when life gets hard, we forget that we are on a mission, too. If we think this life is all about being happy and the American dream, we miss the point of it all. Stay focused, friends. Don’t let troubles move you. Stand firm on God’s promises and stay focused.
We do get to choose what we focus on. You all have helped me to keep my focus on Jesus, on God’s promises, and on faith. Thank you.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” —John 16:33
Expectations can become idolatry. We want our comfort. We want our way. But what if we change the paradigm and are just jealous for God’s glory instead of our own? What if we expect troubles instead of ease?
Don’t Doubt God’s Goodness
The enemy wants us to doubt God’s goodness. He wants you to accuse God. God did you wrong. No, friend. God bore all of our sins on Himself. ALL. We deserved hell because we broke His commands. He gave us grace and love, setting us free from the ravages of sin. But we must expect the troubles that Jesus promised we would encounter in this fallen world. He warned us, y’all.
And let us not forget that we brought the trouble into this world – sure, Adam and Eve started it all, but we would have done it, too. We do reap what we sow. Even when other people sin and bring pain into our lives, God is greater.
“People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the LORD.” —Proverbs 19:3
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
Philippians 4:13 ESV
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
Luke 1:37 ESV
“For nothing will be impossible with God.”
2 Chronicles 15:7 ESV
“But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.”
Isaiah 41:10 ESV
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Romans 8:28 ESV
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Friends, what hope is there in giving up? None.
Did you catch all the “big buts” in my post, friend? I am focused on God’s goodness. God’s plans. Not mine. I am trusting in Him and you all are helping me to do that.
And I also believe He is going to do it and I am praying that I can get out of here by Sunday. What say you?
𝐉𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐮𝐬!
Romans 8:38-39 ESV
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
The Point of Suffering
The point of it all is that we have a God who wants a relationship with us and He is with us—are we with Him when life gets rocky? Nothing, I mean nothing can separate us from God unless we let it. Even then, He is still there.
Thank you, precious friends, for praying with me. Can we also pray for everyone right now who is affected by COVID? I know we are all sick of it in the news, but friends, this disease has hurt so many people in profound ways. May God heal our land and may He draw us all near to Him!
May God heal not just me, but all who are reading this right now in Jesus’ name—of COVID, of every sin or hurt that has broken their hearts! And May God receive all the glory!
See the second post for the rest of the mindset hacks: https://denisepass.com/mindset-hacks-learned-from-covid-part-2/
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