It’s been a while, y’all. And believe it or not, shame can rear its ugly head and make me feel like I should not post…until I dispel that logic and post anyway. 🥳 Are you entering this year with last year’s minimization of who you are in Christ, or are you entering this new year with the freedom of knowing your true identity in Christ, void of any and all shame? Mindsets and shame go hand in hand, and we must learn how to deal with these seemingly invisible forces to be able to enjoy this life and be effective for the Gospel in the new year.
I can be slow sometimes. Truly. This is why I highlight my hair blonde, so I have an excuse. (Forgive the blonde joke). But it has taken me a bit to recognize my calling—to help people overcome the battles of the mind with the word of God.
First, God had me write about hope. Then shame. Then mindsets (& mindset study). In the progression of the books I have written, it was not until I was researching and writing about mindsets that I saw the connection.
So, did the chicken or the egg come first? Was it shame that led to a mindset, or a mindset that led to shame? Does it matter? And how do we get rid of shame?
Shame is not our Identity.
Shame is a response to something we are choosing to believe about ourselves. We care a lot about what others think about us, not realizing that worrying about our reputation can become idolatry. And, worse, it induces shame in our lives. When we become aware that someone’s thoughts about us are—let’s just say not very complementary—this can cause us to feel defeated as we identify with what they are thinking about us instead of what is KNOWN about us as a child of God.
We can counter the shame we feel with the honor we know from God’s thoughts toward us. So here’s your prescription when you feel minimized and cast aside. Don’t identify with anyone else’s thoughts about you but God’s. We all have flaws and are not enough. (Sorry, this flies in the face of the “you’re enough girl” movement). But it is our brokenness that opens up the door for Christ to impute His righteousness as our identity. Paul boasted about his weaknesses. Maybe we can, too.
Battling for Your True Identity
So, when you are aware of someone’s less-than-flattering critique, you cannot affect shame on the outside. You must battle shame in your mind—where shame began in the first place. Trying to control other’s thoughts is impossible—we struggle to control our own.
Battle shame by releasing yourself. Think of yourself less. You no longer live. Christ lives in you. Let. It. Go. Battle shame by choosing humility. Be ok with someone’s slight of you. Pray for them, and let God honor you. Temporary praise from man cannot change our hearts. God’s love and honor lasts forever.
Battle shame by releasing its threat. Shame is powerful because fear is behind it. We feel naked in front of others and judged. But someone’s thoughts about us are merely their thoughts.
Battle shame by releasing the lie. Shame is a lie fixed on a need to perform. We can operate in a different paradigm not dependent on anyone’s opinion of us. Meditate on truth and watch shame disappear.
Shame is not your identity anymore.
“In You, O Lord, I put my trust; let me never be ashamed; deliver me in Your righteousness.”
—Ps 31:1