I think we all want to appear that we have our “stuff together,” right? But when shame overwhelms us as we struggle to function in our daily lives, we can struggle to see our way out. But being overwhelmed does not have to induce shame.
Shame overwhelms us because we feel powerless to change our circumstances and how others view us in those circumstances.
Shame Overwhelms When We Compare.
Someone else’s situation is not our plumb line. Choosing to evaluate our life through someone else’s lens will keep us bound to shame. You know that friend who makes all organic food, is dressed perfectly, her home is immaculate, and her children and marriage are perfect. Oh—and she is a size 3. If you are tempted to despise her for these things, you just missed out. She could have helped you in the areas she is excelling in. And you might also be misjudging her—you might not know her real struggles and shame.
It might even be you who has been misjudged by others who “think” you have your act together when, in reality, you feel imposter syndrome as you try to keep your head above water.
What if we refused to compare and chose to release the shame we feel for how messy we are as we try to make it day after day? What if we acknowledge our struggle instead of trying to hide it? Maybe even laugh at ourselves?
Shame Overwhelms When We Despair.
Shame takes our situations and amplifies them. Kind of like announcing it to the world around us. But we don’t have to listen and see ourselves or anyone else through the lens of despair. No one and no situation is beyond God’s redemption.
Accepting who we are and the lot we have in this life removes despair and recognizes God’s redemption and sovereignty in our lives. When we choose to glorify God in our hot mess lives, the world sees a witness of the power of God that triumphs over any and all shame.
“But the Lord God helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame” (Isiah 50:7, ESV).