Last week we began this year by grounding ourselves in identity—who we are in Christ, not what we accomplish.
This week, we take that identity into one of the most tender spaces of our lives: our relationships.
So much of our emotional exhaustion comes from trying to earn love, keep peace at any cost, or be what others expect us to be. We can mistake approval for connection—and performance for love.
But Scripture invites us into something far freer.
When we know who we are in Christ, we no longer need to bend ourselves to be accepted. We are free to love honestly, speak truth gently, and remain rooted even when relationships feel complicated.
We don’t have to lose ourselves to keep the peace.
As I continue writing Thick Skin, Soft Heart, I’m learning that healthy relationships require both:
• Thick skin to not be easily shaken by others’ reactions,
• A soft heart that remains compassionate, present, and loving.
Practically this looks like not expecting or needing the other person’s response to match what I hope for.
I can still keep a soft heart and choose not to take their response personally.
Faithfulness in relationships doesn’t mean pleasing everyone.
It means staying true to Christ while loving others well.
Scripture Reflection
“Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
— Colossians 3:12
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?”
— Galatians 1:10
Ask the Lord this week to show you where you may be seeking approval instead of living from His love.
Reflection Questions
- Where do I feel pressure to be who others want me to be?
- What would it look like to love from my identity in Christ rather than from fear of rejection?
- How can I practice both thick skin and a soft heart in my relationships this week?🙏 Closing Prayer
Lord, help me to accept others as they are—like me, imperfect. When their responses are a temptation to be offended, help me to choose love more than my pride. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Visit the ShameRx Blog for When Love Starts to Feel Like Performance
All for Jesus,
Denise