Father’s Day has a way of stirring up a wide range of emotions.
For some, it brings gratitude and joy, longing or grief. And for many, it brings a complicated mix of both.
Because earthly fathers—like all of us—are imperfect.
Some were present but distant.
Or loving but limited.
Some were absent altogether.
And some carried wounds they could not heal in themselves, let alone in others.
I did not realize until several years back, when I was recording a podcast episode about fathers, that I was offended at my Dad for not being what I hoped he would be as a dad.
Forgotten birthdays, absence in my childhood, and harshness.
Then it hit me—he did the best he could. He had his own battles with sin. More than that, I was never justified in remaining offended.
Grieving what we hoped for should never become our disposition. Gratitude helps us to redeem what we might have interpreted as insufficient. We don’t need a perfect earthly Father in order to feel loved.
Our Abba Father
In 1988 I came to know my heavenly Abba Father as I repented and accepted His salvation. I never knew such love. I realize now that placing an expectation on an earthly father to meet what only my Heavenly Father could meet hurt my relationship with my earthly father.
The Bible tells us to honor our fathers and mothers, not because they are perfect, but because it is fitting and He requires it. They were part of giving us life.
Here is the amazing thing: we all have the same Father. And that includes our fathers. Malachi 2:10 says, “Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us?”
The Perfect Father’s Love
This Father loves us infinitely. 1 John 3:1 says, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” That word lavished is not measured or minimal. It is abundant. Overflowing. Generous beyond expectation.
And His love is enough. That does not mean we still do not desire our earthly fathers to love us, but we can take the pressure off them to fulfill what only a perfect God could.
This frees us up to love unconditionally, not placing expectations on how our earthly dads love us.
Because the truth is, you were never meant to find your ultimate identity or worth in an earthly father.
You were meant to be held by a perfect one.
The Father Heart of God
One of the most beautiful truths in Scripture is that God reveals Himself not only as Creator, King, and Judge, but as Father.
A Father who:
Sees (El roi).
Knows (our Abba knows what we need before we ask (Matt 6:8).
Provides (Yahweh Jireh).
Stays (He will never leave us—Hebrews 13:5).
When Earthly Fathers Fall Short
If your earthly father was inconsistent, absent, or even harmful, your story is not disqualified from healing.
And if your earthly father was loving and steady, he was always meant to be a reflection—not the source—of your identity.
Because even the best fathers are still human.
But your heavenly Father is not.
You are loved, friends. God the Father cares for you so much that He sent His own Son to die for you.
“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.” — Psalm 103:13
God does not love you with hesitation. He loves you with compassion.
The Invitation of Jesus
Jesus came to make the Father known (John 17:26).
God the Father is not distant. He is so very near (Acts 17:27).
He is not angry with you. He pursues you with an unending love.
He is not disengaged. Our Father is with us (Isaiah 41:10).
Jesus invites us to come and know the Father through Himself. “Whoever has seen Me has seen the Father.” — John 14:9
Every time Jesus welcomed the broken, touched the outcast, restored the ashamed, fed the hungry, wept with the grieving…
He was revealing the heart of the Father.
What This Means for You
If you have ever wondered:
“Am I really loved?”
“Do I matter?”
“Am I safe with God?”
The answer is not found in your performance. It is found in your position.
You are not striving to become a child of God. In Christ, you already are one.
“You received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry, ‘Abba, Father’” (Romans 8:15)
“Abba Father” is an intimate Aramaic and Greek phrase used in Christian theology to denote a deeply personal, trusting relationship with God. The term beautifully blends the tender affection of “Papa” or “Daddy” with the absolute respect and devotion owed to a parent (Mark 14:6, Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:6).
Abba is not formal. It is intimate—the word a child uses when they are held close.
He’s your Daddy, and no one can ever separate you from His love. Nothing.
Romans 8:38–39
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Live loved, friends. Don’t let a lack of demonstration of love from any earthly figure be about you. Your Father in Heaven is wild about you.
Then, as you live loved, go love your earthly fathers. They need to see that kind of love, too.
Scripture Reflection:
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” — Exodus 20:12
True honoring of another person is not dependent upon their behavior. When we honor, forgive and love others who might not have loved us as we hoped, we might be the impetus to help them love better, too.
Reflection Questions:
- How can our own imperfections as a parent help us to forgive our earthly parents?
- How can our Heavenly Father’s unconditional love for us help us to love others in the same way, even when they fall short of what we expect?
- What does ?
Prayer:
Lord, thank You that You are not distant or disengaged, but near and loving. For those who carry wounds from earthly fathers, bring healing. For those who struggle to trust Your love, bring peace. Teach us to live as secure children of a perfect Father, resting in Your presence and walking in Your love. Amen.
Visit the ShameRX Blog for this week’s post, Nothing to Prove.
All for Jesus,
Denise