Have you ever looked at your life and thought, “I should be past this by now”? The woulda, coulda, shouldas can shame our very existence when we tie our worth to our progress. Being steadfast when you feel you should be further along is possible when our progress is tied to God’s timing, not ours.
We might think that we should be more patient and should trust God more. We should not still struggle with whatever fear, habit, wound, or weakness we perpetually struggle with. After all, a Christian should not still struggle, right? WRONG.
Sometimes the struggle itself is difficult. But then shame adds another burden: the belief that our continued struggle proves we are failing. Instead of bringing our weakness to God, we hide it. But hiding shame does not heal it.
Instead of recognizing growth, we focus only on how far we still have to go. And instead of receiving grace, we condemn ourselves for being unfinished.
The Lie Shame Tells
Shame says: “You should be further along.” It compares our present weakness to an imagined version of where we think we should be. It convinces us that mature Christians no longer struggle, that repeated battles indicate spiritual failure, and that slow progress means God is disappointed in us.
But spiritual maturity is not the absence of struggle. Often, it is revealed in what we do with the struggle.
Do we hide from God, or run to Him? Do we surrender, or give up? Or do we allow weakness to lead us into condemnation, or into greater dependence upon Christ?
The fact that you are still fighting does not mean you are failing. It may be evidence that God is teaching you to depend on Him more deeply.
What Grace Says
Grace says: “God is still faithfully at work in you.” Philippians 1:6 does not place the responsibility for completing our transformation solely on us: “Being confident of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
God began the work. God continues the work. And God will complete the work.
Our hope is not in our ability to transform ourselves quickly enough. Our hope rests in the faithfulness of the One transforming us. This does not make us passive. We still repent, obey, persevere, and cooperate with the work of the Holy Spirit. But we do so from a place of confidence rather than condemnation.
We are not desperately trying to prove that God’s work is succeeding. We are learning to trust the God who never abandons what He begins.
Unfinished Does Not Mean Failing
A construction site can look messy while something beautiful is being built. In the same way, transformation does not always look impressive while it is happening. There may (WILL!) still be areas of weakness. Old wounds may resurface. Habits may require repeated surrender. Lessons may need to be learned more than once. I know. Ugh. But Paul reminds us that our effort is never finished here on earth:
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:12–14, NIV).
Needing grace again does not mean grace has failed. It means you still need the Savior—and that has always been true.
Perhaps you are not where you want to be. But by God’s grace, you are also not where you once were. Growth may be slower than you hoped, quieter than you expected, and harder to measure than you would like. Yet God is not discouraged by the pace of His work in you. He is patient. He is purposeful. And He is faithful.
The Gentle Truth
Friend, you do not have to shame yourself into becoming more like Jesus. Condemnation cannot produce transformation. Only grace can do that. Shame Off You.
God sees every small step of obedience. Every time you repent. Every time you begin again. Each time you choose truth over an old lie. And every time you turn toward Him instead of walking away.
Nothing surrendered to God is wasted.
Shame Rx: You may still be a work in progress, but you are not a spiritual failure. You are a life still being faithfully formed by God.
Slow progress is not proof of failure; it may be evidence of God’s patient and faithful work.
Reflection
- Where have I been condemning myself because my progress feels slow?
- Am I measuring growth only by what still needs to change?
- What evidence of God’s work in me have I overlooked?
- How would I approach this struggle differently if I truly believed God had not given up on me?
Prayer
Father, forgive me for the ways I have condemned myself for being unfinished. When I believe I should be further along, remind me that You are patient and faithful in Your work. Help me recognize the growth I often overlook and bring my continuing struggles to You without shame. Give me grace to repent, courage to persevere, and confidence that You will complete what You have begun in me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Check out the Seeing Deep blog this week as I share about Seeing the Quiet Work of God When Progress Seems Slow