“Because of this I remind you to rekindle God’s gift that you possess through the laying on of hands. 7 For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self control.”
This verse is significant to me because I remember when hands were laid on me in 1988 and I was told that I would be singing and playing keyboard on stage for His glory. I was a euphonium player at the time. (Okay, let’s call it a mini-tuba for those of you who do not know what a euphonium is). It paid my way through college and laid the foundation for music ministry with a degree in Music Performance.
I thought they got it wrong. I was a brass musician who loved obscurity. I could hide behind the music stand and not be seen. Much has happened since that time and I marvel at the sovereignty and calling of God. I did not know at that time that the LORD would use me to write songs for Himself or that I would serve on staff at churches. I did not feel qualified then or now, but that is the beauty of walking with God. He uses the weak things to bring Him glory, not experts or people righteous on their own – just broken people in need of His salvation.
Oh the depths of the wisdom of God! His grace knows no limits and His association with fallen man is beyond words. He does not need us, but He chooses to use us. How can it be?
After seven years of serving as a volunteer at my church, God opened the door for me recently to be on staff as the worship leader. I thought God was through with me serving in this role, but all the heartache, all the pain of the past seven years that caused me to set aside formal ministry have been used by our glorious God who wastes nothing. Perseverance, dependence on Him, His faithfulness – just some of the jewels found along the way.
I just got a message this morning announcing that the five songs I recorded this summer are completed and will be available for digital download later today. How can it be? It has been sheer determination and one of the hardest things I have done to work full-time as an executive assistant and do the work of ministry in the evenings and weekends, balancing family time and homeschooling, but even this was ordained by God and the difficulty was necessary to work the character in that God desired. Through this time the Seeing Deep ministry was birthed. I am humbled and stand in awe of God and what He has done. The difficult process we find ourselves in as we try to follow God’s will is necessary as we are so very needful of the lessons hardship infuses into our being. When redeemed man who was once an enemy of God is used by a Holy God, it is no small thing.
Sometimes we can feel forgotten and useless, like all God has spoken to our hearts will never materialize. We might even miss the fact that it already has been accomplished because we perceived the will of God differently. We might think we are supposed to be in a certain position, but God brings about His will in time.
The gifts God has given us are to be developed, not just used. It is hard work. We can sit on the gifts and use excuses to explain why we are not using them, but it is the stewardship of those gifts in obedience to God that pleases Him, no matter How He decides to use them. Each talent, each aspect of Who God made us to be was given to us not for us to claim as our own, but borrowed treasure to be invested for His Kingdom and glory.
It is a beautiful place to be at to be unconcerned with the results of our obedience and completely consumed, instead, with glorifying Him and sharing His message of hope and healing through song and word. It is a miracle, indeed. It is not a place I could ever claim to have arrived at, for it is a constant surrender and awareness of our need of Him to bring us to that place of being all about Him. Fear of failure and of man threaten to undermine the seedling of faith that bursts in the work God has called each of us to do in our lives, but God. Oh, that He might be glorified!
So today if you feel your calling will never come to fruition and like your life is passing you by, work at the gift and trust God with His timing and process. It will not be easy and the enemy will come against you. It will take your all, but it will be worth it and the rewards, eternal.
Lord, to You be all the glory! Thank you for using us at all! What an honor and a privilege it is to write and sing songs to my King! Thank You for the grace and strength. Enable us to be faithful to You, Almighty God!