Writing 101, Day Eight: Death to Adverbs
Go to a public location and make a detailed report of what you see. The twist of the day? Write the post without adverbs.
The dog sniffed the edge of the rugged, splintery-filled bench and lifted his leg to relieve himself. Marking yet another new-found territory, Cocoa pressed on, searching and yearning for another conquest. The park in the pristine countryside offered many such opportunities in which Cocoa could demonstrate his prowress.
Panting and leaping, he spied a lofty tree with a large trunk – success! Only this time, an over-sized bulldog was on the other side, slobbering at the sight of Cocoa, who was a mere Lhasa Apso. Wagging his tail side-to-side like a wind-up toy, Cocoa thought it was time to play. Not so much. Well, that depends on the definition of “play”. The bulldog no longer viewed the tree trunk as his prize – but a small dog, well that was much more fun!
Spinning and diving, the two wrestled and leapt, whimpered and barked. Onlookers traded looks of concern and hilarity, unsure of whether the spectacle was one of fun or torture. Perhaps the bench was enough territory for Cocoa, but now it was too late. The blooming flowerbed was crushed underneath their spurious tackle, insects were buzzing in anger, and the owners were shocked in dismay.
All of a sudden, a long stick with a net grabbed Cocoa and dragged him. Putting up a fight, Cocoa expressed relief that the excitement was now over. Pretending he wanted to stay and play with his friend, Cocoa jerked back and forth, resisting the capture. The bulldog, too, was taken and brought back to his owner.
Peace was once again restored at the park, and Cocoa vaulted his leg one more time on a Boxwood at the exit. At least for this moment, Cocoa dominated and the world was his.
Excellent job. And dogs. 🙂 Excellent as well.
Much Respect
Ronovan
Fellow 101 Participant
Thank you very much!
A nice little story. I like that you did it mainly from the dog’s perspective, that was sort of an unexpected twist. A little more detail on how the dogs looked could have been cool, but this was nice. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Thank you. Great recommendation about details about the appearance of the dogs.
I love the originality of this tale… 😉
Thank you!