Writing 101, Day Four: The Serial Killer -Today, write about a loss. The twist: make this the first post in a three-post series.
When I was a girl, I dreamed about happily ever after. Guess it depends on what the definition of happiness is. If happiness was defined as being happily married, having healthy children, wealth and minimal problems in your life, then I do not know whether anyone will every achieve perfect tranquility and bliss, known as happiness. But for a short while I thought I had it. Despite a bumpy childhood, I thought I could have the perfect family and lasting joy. Then the enemy of our souls came and snatched it away . . . seemingly.
My family would never be the same, and the father of my children was to blame. The death of our family as we knew it was agonizing and there was no escape from the mark it had left. The signs of death were all around . . . functioning on a normal level was hampered, and life just seemed numb. The children and I clung to one another, knowing God was going to take our pain and use it for good.
But then, what did normal look like? How do we move on from this place of death? Perhaps the death of what we idolized was more painful than we could imagine, but would also open our eyes to what in fact was wrong with what we were considering happiness…
You’ve got me wondering the circumstances behind “the death of your family.”
When it comes to structure, I might break this up into a few paragraphs instead of leaving it as just one. Punctuation, for the most part, is good. I didn’t notice much by way of typos, either.
Flow is good and I can tell by the wording that your narrator is quite bothered (rightfully so) by what happened.
I’m definitely looking forward to discovering what WAS wrong with the family’s happiness.
Nice job.
Thanks for the feedback – I broke it up into paragraphs. Not sure when we are supposed to do part 2? The suspense is killing me, lol.
Maybe, that’s the point. 😉 Gives you time to contemplate what you’ll do next and ways to tweak it.
I’m kinda chomping at the bit myself. Luckily, I’m “supposed” to be working on other stuff that will help me avoid getting more obsessive about it.
Maybe. 😉
(: