“Get better, not bitter.”
We’ve all likely heard that expression before. Or perhaps a new way to express the heart behind this phrase on the heels of July 4th: “Get freedom, not even.”
The truth is, we cannot overcome bitterness unless we first recognize it. But recognizing it can be difficult.
Last week I asked the question, “Am I living free?” Then looked at the cost of walking in spiritual freedom—letting go of our pride, our right to retaliate, our right to be right, or to control, and releasing the identity we had as we clung to offenses that began to become our identity.
This week, let’s consider a lesson from Asaph in Psalm 73 as we ask ourselves, “What is keeping me from walking in freedom?”
Bitterness is Envy.
In Psalm 73 we see something illuminating through the eyes of Asaph, who was struggling to rise above his own offenses, in particular, the stronghold of bitterness—this time against God and man.
Comparison robs us of spiritual freedom. Asaph shows us how this works in the life of a believer. Envy, left unchecked, often becomes bitterness, and bitterness doesn’t just wound our hearts—it distorts our vision.
Maybe we can hear our own past complaints alongside Asaph’s:
“For I envied the arrogant; (when) I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” (Psalm 73:3, CSB).
Asaph looked around and concluded that those who ignored God seemed to have easier lives than those who faithfully followed Him.
“They have an easy time until they die, and their bodies are well fed. They are not in trouble like others; they are not afflicted like most people.” (Psalm 73:4–5).
From his perspective, life simply didn’t seem fair.
He was angry because he believed the wicked had a better life. Perhaps disillusioned as to why God allowed it.
He looked horizontally instead of vertically.
This is a temptation we all can have. We look to the here and now as our reality without considering eternity.
Bitterness is Ignorant.
What amazes me most about Psalm 73 isn’t Asaph’s honesty.
It’s his humility.
“When I became embittered and my innermost being was wounded,
I was stupid and didn’t understand; I was an unthinking animal toward You” (Psalm 73:21–22).
Stupid. That is the “S” word I did not allow my kids to say when they were little. It is harsh and unkind.
Jealousy fueled this ignorance (73:3). Having an easy life became more prized in his eyes than the inheritance he had with God.
The perceived lack of trouble, affliction, or hunger (73:4-5), despite the violence and ungodliness of the wicked (Ps 73:6-9), nearly caused Asaph to stumble in his faith through comparison, leading to temporary spiritual blindness.
Bitterness is Blind.
Asaph did not see the big picture in his moments of comparison: Suffering is temporary. Prosperity of the wicked is temporary. The wicked would ultimately perish (Ps 73:27). Earthly gain cannot compare with what God has for His people on earth and in eternity.
God was with Asaph, and He is with us (Psalm 73: 23).
God guides us and has made an eternal home for us (73:24).
Those who know God are going to Heaven, where there is no more suffering or lack.
Bitterness Can Get Better.
The good news is that Asaph got better and was set free from bitterness and offense against God and others when he realized earth held nothing for him (Ps 73:25).
The turning point for Asaph did not happen when circumstances changed, or when the wicked were punished, or even when life became easier.
It was when Asaph entered God’s sanctuary that God’s presence restored perspective.
“Who do I have in heaven but you? And I desire nothing on earth but you. 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever” (Psalm 73:25-26).
Notice what changed. Not his circumstances, but his desires.
Asaph discovered that God’s greatest gift was not a trouble-free life.
It was God’s presence.
When God’s presence became enough, comparison lost its power.
Bitterness loosened its grip.
Freedom returned.
God’s presence was enough (Psalm 73:28). God was his portion, not someone else’s portion or anything on this earth.
God’s Presence is the Antidote.
How about us? Is God’s presence enough?
Do we crave what others have? Or what we don’t have, leading to bitterness?
Perhaps, like Asaph, we need to see our need to get better in order to no longer be bitter.
Maybe if we saw spiritual problems as more significant than physical ones, we would be eager to rid ourselves of them.
Jesus once asked a man who had been unable to walk for thirty-eight years a surprising question:
“Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6)
At first glance, the question seems unnecessary.
Of course he wanted to get well.
Or did he?
Sometimes we become so accustomed to the places where we’ve been wounded that they begin to define us.
Sometimes bitterness becomes familiar. We don’t stop the negative narrative in our minds because we are somehow consoled by them, as if they are an expression of the empathy we long for.
Perhaps before God can remove our bitterness, we must honestly answer the same question.
Do I truly want to get well?
Do I want freedom more than I want to rehearse the offense?
Do I desire God’s presence more than I desire what someone else has?
Healing begins when we desire Christ more than we desire comparison.
Asaph’s heart changed when his perspective changed. Our hearts’ desires can change, too.
“What has bitterness kept you from seeing?”
Bitterness makes us forget eternity.
It exaggerates earthly success and minimizes God’s presence.
Comparison leads to envy over temporary prosperity and can cause us to
question God’s goodness.
Bitterness shrinks eternity until earth becomes everything.
Releasing comparison and bitterness helps us begin to cultivate Thick Skin, and a Soft Heart.
Reflection Questions:
We can feel entitled to bitterness and resentment, but friends, they are horrible companions—enemies, even.
Ask yourself these questions to see if bitterness is worth it or if getting better is.
- Do you feel better when you stew on things that have upset you?
- Will bitterness give you joy and restore the relationship or situation?
- Are you willing to release bitterness, trusting that God has the situation and you?
Releasing bitterness is not contingent upon everything working out on this earth. I know that stinks. But it is dependent upon a Savior Who has overcome the world and He promised to work all things together for your and my good and His glory for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, thank You for removing the hostility and resentment in my heart and replacing it with a soft heart that wants your glory more than getting even or feeling sorry for myself. Turn the ashes into beautiful fruit that reflects your glory, LORD. I trust You! Amen.
Visit the ShameRX Blog for this week’s post, When Comparison Clouds Your Vision.
All for Jesus,
Denise