Ever been the last one picked on a team? That’s this girl here. The one others gossip about? Bingo. The one who was threatened to be beaten up time and again when I was growing up? Yep. Me again. Maybe you can relate? It used to bother me A LOT. Too much, really. It felt impossible to let go of other people’s disdain for me. But letting go of shame when someone doesn’t like you is only impossible when you let it be.
Letting Go of their View
Human beings are wired to follow. So when someone is vocal about their uncharitable thoughts about you, it can make the wound a little deeper. That is, if you subscribe to their way of thinking.
We don’t have to listen to or believe thoughts that are not inline with what Jesus would think. Someone trapped in bitterness or bitter envy is not who we should be listening to, anyway. James revealed that those participating in gossip, slander, and exhibiting enmity are participating with the devil.
“But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.” (James 3:14–16).
Don’t worry about the impact of their influence on others about you. Pray about them being influenced by the devil.
Letting Go of what is Untrue
The truth sets us free. Anyone’s vain imaginations will disappear over time. Hold onto the truth and release the lies. Friends, this will be a fight, but a good one. Who wants to believe a lie, anyway? When we renew our minds by thinking on what is true, we can release what isn’t.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
Don’t let anyone’s untrue thoughts about you trump God’s thoughts about you. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved. You just have to belong to Him.
Letting Go of You
I love this simple phrase, “it’s not about you.” It is so freeing because being overly focused on self and what others think of us is a tremendous burden. One of my favorite phrases when I was writing Shame Off You and when I travel and speak on that message was to tell people, “YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH!” The enemy of our souls is always telling us we are not enough. Why not embrace this TRUTH? You and me, we are not enough, but Jesus is. This is our vindication! Christ is sufficient for my “not enough.”
Letting go of the need to measure up to someone’s standard is so freeing. And Jesus would not want us to have any other standard than His. You will never be more loved and accepted than you are right now in Christ.
“God says, ‘Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you” (Isaiah 43:4).
Friend, if you do not know Jesus, I would love to introduce you. He is the One Who removed all my sin and shame and He can do the same for you.
Check out the Seeing Deep blog this week for a mindset hack that reminds us that forgiveness does not mean we dismiss sin or egregious behavior. It means we don’t take it personally.