Do you have any enemies? Whether you know it or not, you do. But you don’t have to be an enemy.
It happened as I was scrolling my notifications. Then I saw it: a post from an angry friend who had put all her “friends” on notice that if they voted for so-and-so, they could unfriend her right then and there.
Friends…now enemies.
In today’s climate, people can become enemies just for their political views. The old adage might be true after all, to avoid discussing politics. So, to be clear, this is not a political piece, lol. But it is an example of how we can be pitted against one another easily.
Over small matters. Like the style of worship of all things. Or imagined offenses.
Unless we choose not to participate in enmity.
Know Your Enemy
Sound crazy? Maybe. Unrealistic? Perhaps. But what if we could realize there is truly one real enemy of our souls who incites us to make enemies of one another?
Paul wrote to the church at Corinth about how the devil was exploiting them against one another.
“If you forgive anyone for anything, I also forgive him–for indeed what I have forgiven (if I have forgiven anything) I did so for you in the presence of Christ, so that we may not be exploited by Satan (for we are not ignorant of his schemes)” (2 Corinthians 2:11, NET).
So when we give in and consider someone an enemy, we are being exploited to hate that person and do the devil’s work.
Through Christ, we can skip the drama and choose love. Even when people are puppets of the devil exhibiting hate. We can choose love.
Jesus loved us while we were His enemies, and it turned the world upside down (or right side up!). What if we did the same?
The truth is, we all have enemies. Enmity is common in a fallen world. We can worry about the damage an enemy can do and miss God’s purpose for us at that moment. Instead, we could choose to stay on mission and love our enemies even when they betray us.
We might be the only Jesus our enemies ever see.
We will all likely feel the pain of having enemies. But that does not mean we have to be an enemy. So how do we stop being an enemy?
Love Your Enemy
You don’t have to be an enemy. You can love your enemy.
In Matthew 5:43-48 Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For He makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?”
How can you love an enemy? By asking God to help you see them through Jesus’ eyes. They are trapped in a cycle of bitterness and somehow bought the lie that you are the cause. Or maybe you actually did something to hurt someone and apologized but they cannot forgive or forget. Either way, recognizing they are trapped in sin could evoke compassion for their souls.
The late theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer stated the purpose of this love for our enemies. He said, “The will of God, to which the law gives expression, is that men should defeat their enemies by loving them.”
I have tested this theory and seen it is true. I will be real with you; it is hard, but it is possible to love in the face of hate. And when we do, God is glorified and we have peace—sweet reward.
Pray for Your Enemy
Perhaps before we are able to love our enemy, we should pray for them—and ourselves to be able to love them well for the sake of God’s Kingdom and glory.
I have found that I can spend more time wrestling with my thoughts about someone’s “dislike” of me than praying for them, which reveals I am caring for myself more in those moments.
In the end, I was free to pray for them when I no longer needed their love to be able to love and pray for them.
I could be ok with people not liking me because I realized it was a spiritual matter, and I did not need to take it personally.
Serve Your Enemy
When a family member through a rag on the floor and told me to clean up the crumbs, my flesh was hurt and angry. But God. The Holy Spirit is able to help us to walk in the Spirit rather than the flesh.
So I said “sure” with a smile on my face (not a sassy smile, though again my flesh wanted to), cleaned it up, then asked if there was anything else I could do. The other person said yes—vacuum the entire house.
It is hard to do what is right in the moment, but oh, if we are seeking Jesus daily, we start to think like Him and realize there are kingdom purposes at hand that matter so much more than our own purposes.
“Sure,” I said, and began to vacuum the entire house. When we serve those who are treating us as an enemy, God is able to work in their souls. The Psalmist and Paul who note that serving our enemies is akin to placing coals on their head. This is not an unkind thing, but a kindness. Their conscience in that moment is pricked to consider their actions.
“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you” (Psalm 25:21–22).
“But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on his head” (Romans 12:20).
Save Your Enemy
As I neared the completion of vacuuming the entire house, the person told me I had done enough.
I don’t know if he ever accepted Christ, but I know he was uncomfortable in my presence because the Holy Spirit convicts others when we don’t respond to others’ enemy tactics.
But as he lay dying and refused to allow me to see him, a family member put me in his ear, and I was able to tell him I loved him and forgave him. But more important than that, I told him that Jesus loved Him and died to save him and that it was not too late for him to accept Jesus. I am told he nodded his head.
Sometimes, we won’t see on this side of heaven the effect of loving those who don’t love us back. But what sweet rewards await those who can think above the noise of this world and learn to love and think like Christ—what a place of worship it is if my enemy can see Jesus in me,
And even if they don’t, Jesus sees, friend. Keep on loving, praying, and serving, for Your Father in Heaven sees and rewards. We can’t save a soul, but we can point our enemies to the One Who can.
Mindset Hack of the Week
This month has certainly been such a good reminder to me that real love is messy and not just for those who love us back.
The mindset hack graphic this week is a reminder that the real enemy is the enemy of our souls. Those trapped in his ploys don’t have to be our enemy, and we just might help them to rise above the influence of the spirit of the air and become a friend of Jesus, instead.
Check out the Shame Rx Blog this week as we discuss how to let go of shame when someone doesn’t like you.
All for Jesus,
Denise