Waiting can induce a lot of shame. Waiting to lose weight. Or waiting for a job we really need. Even waiting for health problems or relationship problems to resolve. And the hope that we might bear a child…the list can go on and on. Waiting is hard to do. Releasing shame from waiting will require us to stop attaching our performance or worth to that thing we are waiting on.
Waiting is not a failure.
The comparison trap can cause us to feel shame when others around us are no longer waiting for what we hope for. We feel somehow it is about our failure to perform well, but sometimes waiting is just a circumstance we cannot control. I felt a sense of shame when I miscarried my second child while several friends and relatives were pregnant at the same time. My heart ached while I waited and hoped I might become pregnant again, and struggled with every single pregnancy, while others had normal pregnancies. Comparison is the thief of joy (Teddy Roosevelt is noted for having so stated). There is no shame for life’s circumstances. Waiting is not a failure. it can become a moment of victory when our joy is not dependent upon waiting for anything because we wait on the Lord, instead.
Waiting is not an indicator of worth.
Our worth is not diminished when we are in a season of waiting. Attaching our worth to an achievement or a desired outcome sets a dangerous precedent. What if we never receive what we hope for? Well, we would be in good company. “All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth” (Hebrews 11:13, ESV). What if the reason we feel shame is because we are waiting for things that are solely for temporary earthly gain? Created things cannot satisfy for long. And waiting can become an indicator of worth when we wait patiently as the world looks on.
Waiting is not a sign we are forgotten.
I admit it. I have struggled with waiting sometimes because I felt I would never get what I hoped for. Sometimes I was willing to take the least position just to move forward in what I thought was my calling. This was striving to reach my goals and sometimes wondered if God had forgotten me. But what if God might be trying to give us something even better than what we are working toward? Waiting is a gift if we can accept the beauty of surrender. Releasing our will and way releasing the shame that comes with unmet desires.
Check out the Seeing Deep blog this week for a mindset hack to help you be grateful instead of shameful for your age.