Removing Shame from our Relationships

Removing Shame from our Relationships

This month Shame Rx contributor from the Seeing Deep Ministry team, Shell Singh, and I will be writing on how shame impacts our relationships. Removing shame from our relationships is not easy in a culture full of shame, but it is possible. 

Shame Rx:

Shame Impacts Our Relationships

Scripture of the Day:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” —Ephesians 4:2

Denise’s View

Opening up her cell phone to see the text that just came in, my friend began to weep as she read the toxic words on the screen. How did the relationship come to this? Especially because they were both Christians?

Have you ever had a relationship fall apart?

You thought you finally got your act together. Found a forever friend. Then your relationship fell apart miserably. Drama ensued. Why are relationships so difficult?

Relationship Failure Does Not Mean that You are a Failure.

Shame Off You When Relationships Fail. We can feel shame when relationships break up. Like we are the problem. But in reality, relationships require two people. And finding someone to blame won’t remove our shame. Or heal the relationship. As we seek God’s direction and healing for our relationship and our heart, we discover that as we work on our relationship with God, it helps our other relationships, as well.

Shell’s Perspective

God cares about our growth in Christlike love rather than a perfect relationship history.

God is the author of relational health and is always willing to provide grace for healing and restoring broken relationships.

Healing broken relationships

Relationships need to be nurtured with time, love and energy. Unfortunately, relationships do not come with a relationship manual. We have all had our hearts broken and in the process of our imperfect humanity, broken the hearts of others. Despite the innate tendency to withdraw when relationships break down or pain occurs, the truth is, God desires that we live in joy-filled communion with each other.

Cultivating growth relationally

Shame may appear with its opinion when we fail to meet expectations in relationships but the truth is, there is always growth with God. As we turn to Him, repent of being selfish or lack of love for others, we can choose to receive love deeper so we can ultimately pour out from a place of security.

Flourishing in love

There is no shame in desiring healthy relationships. If you have experienced a loss in this area, be encouraged because God’s heart is for you to be connected to others. Perhaps, wise counsel, a new perspective and an arsenal of truth is what may be needed to strengthen you relationally. Whatever the case may be, God desires for you to thrive in healthy relationships where you are celebrated as a gift and treasure.

There is no shame in receiving comfort for new chances to heal and thrive relationally, so shame off you!


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