I have a confession. Not everybody loves me. Some people talk about me and spread false rumors. And this still hurts. How about you? Even though I have learned and grown so much in the area of shame, other people shunning and rejecting me has been something I have struggled with for most of my life. But when we are shunned, we don’t have to be shamed. We can shun the shame instead.
Shun the Shame
The reason we feel shame for people shunning us is because our very identity is questioned, and we feel judged as being “not good enough.” People—even professed Christians—can treat you horribly and seem to feel no shame themselves for their sinful behavior. This rejection is the stuff of the schoolyard when bullies and mean kids pronounce others as deficient in some manner. One would think that adults would know better, but we cannot stop the shame we feel by making others behave. We have to deal with our response to their shunning.
We can shun the shame when we release their rejection and replace it with God’s affection. YOU are loved so very much by God, Who went to radical measures to tell you so.
Shun the Fame
Shunning is only powerful if we are seeking the approval of others. Questioning why their approval means so much to us begins to peel back the layers to the truth: their shunning brings up other painful rejections that maybe we did not deal with. But anyone’s rejection does not define our worth. We don’t need to be famed by everyone. Truth be told, we are not a fan of everyone. Laying down the pursuit of man’s praise is such a beautiful moment of freedom. Don’t give people the power to define your worth. And when we can love people who don’t love us, God is glorified, and the shunning cycle stops. We don’t have to shun others just because they shun us.
“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” —Matt 5:44